Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Truth Is....

I wish I could be paid a single dollar for every time I've heard, "I wish I could do what you do, but I'm afraid I would be too attached."

The truth is, as a foster family, we've had it pretty easy. I know a couple of families that have been doing what we do for much less time, and they have seen so many children come in and out of their homes. We've only sent 3 home in almost 4 years. Our first placement (which this post will focus) was with us for 15 months, our second placement was a newborn that we had for 5 days, and our 5th placement we had for 11 months. The truth is that we were very attached to these kids. I was not a fun mommy to be around the days that Miss A or Trinity went home.

A picture of Luke's Adoption --Sometimes It's a Celebration instead of HeartbreakAlign Left

The truth is we need good foster homes.

The truth is, those that are afraid of getting too attached are the families that we need! Of course, when talking to these families, I don't say, "You will, so sign up!"

The truth is that you will get attached. These children need you to get attached. How can they learn to love if they are not loved?

The truth is that your heart will heal. It is OK to allow your emotionally healthy heart a little pain. These children need your sacrifice in order to be emotionally healthy themselves.

The truth is that I am very sad at this moment. I am sad because Miss A (I've finally given a name to the 6 year old that I've mentioned several times) is labeled a "hard to place" child. The reality is that she can't come home to my hubby and me. She needs to be placed in a home with two parents that are trained in RAD and other personality disorders, that have no other kids in the home, that will be able to love and nurture a hard to love child, and will not want to bring in other kids down the road.

Do those homes exist? I don't of any? It's kind of odd, but whenever I read blogs of other RAD parents, they seem to have multiple (usually more than 3) children. Many of them have more than one child that is struggling with attachment issues. Miss A has had some hard times and she has many emotional scars. I want so much to go and get her and bring her home and love on her. I know that we can't do it. We can't put our kids through this.

The truth is that we need everybody to pray for my sweet, Miss A right now. Her future is at stake. She is still a baby, yet she already has so many demons to overcome.

God, please protect this child. Please provide her with a home that can use your power to heal her heart and mind.


Amy said...

Great job. I knew you would think of something to post. Simply keep posting what you know!!
You could add some of those other blogs you mention reading on your Blogs I Read link.

Emily said...

Praying for Miss A and trusting God's perfect will for her.

Anthony said...
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Anthony said...

Wanted you to know that Jesus answered your prayers for ATM. She is now ATF, and we are so grateful for your obedience and sacrifice. We tried to email and it bounced back, and had trouble posting here previously. Wanted to encourage you, hope this gets to you.